Posted 8 hours ago

Hey, can I stay at your place tonight? My house is about to be on fire.

Posted 1 day ago

What was going through your mind during that play? 

Posted 2 days ago

Do you have any coupons you’d like to use?

Posted 3 days ago

Hooray! Wait, what do you mean by golden shower?

Posted 2 weeks ago
May I snuggle my dragon?" "It’s a free action. You may snuggle your dragon.
Posted 2 weeks ago

Elephant in the pond

Posted 2 weeks ago

Mom Cat Coco Hugs 7 Kittens

Posted 2 weeks ago

outofcontextdnd:

"Son, we can negotiate. Put down the god."

Posted 2 weeks ago

outofcontextdnd:

(upon failing a roll while in magical water)

DM: You think you might be a duck. Maybe you’ve always been a duck. The water is nice.

Deva player: Were all my past lives ducks too?

DM: Of course. You’re from a very proud lineage.

Deva player: …I go for a little paddle.

Posted 2 weeks ago

Seeing what tricks my new pet knows during my first session

outofcontextdnd:

Me: Roll over.

GM: The hedgehog rolls over. It’s adorable.

Me: Stay.

GM: You take a few steps away. The hedgehog remains where it is.

Me: Heel.

GM: The hedgehog heals you for 5 HP.

Me: Holy shit.